Hunger

Abstract

In this master’s thesis, I recount and reflect on the process of inspiration, growth, and creation of my final authorial presentation, Hunger. Despite my early interest in pursuing medicine, my experiences at the Department of Authorial Creativity and Pedagogy (KATaP) at the Academy of Performing Arts in Prague’s Theatre Faculty (DAMU) proved instrumental on my current journey to becoming an actor, as well as in the realization of Hunger. Along with my outside work with a psychotherapist, my coursework in KATaP significantly contributed to my personal growth as an actor and as a person. The first part of this thesis examines the origin of the text Hunger is based off of, a semi-autographical wolf story originally presented for an Authorial Reading (AR) class. I reflect on my use of animals as protagonists, my use of the analogy of love as flesh, and the implications of using such a personal text as the subject material for a public performance. I then contemplate the relationship of “art” and “therapy” in terms of my experiences in my courses at KATaP, including Authorial Acting (AA), Dialogical Acting (DJ), and movement classes, as well as my work with therapy. I describe my struggle with PTSD and clinical depression, presenting psychological context for my struggle connecting my mind and body and the importance of doing so, both in the classroom and out. I discuss how a therapy session and DJ combined to allow me to discover the main character of my final authorial presentation, WW, the wise woman, the white wolf. The second part addresses my procrastination as a constant source of struggle, provides possible context for it, and my attempts to resolve it. I go on to describe my first performance attempt of Hunger and how it resembled a Speech presentation more than a storytelling performance. I outline my experience and growth in Speech class and compare it to traditional Native American storytelling, reflecting on the differences between the two and what I took from each to use in Hunger. I continue to describe the inspiration and realization of WW, the main character in Hunger. Reflecting on my most recent AP attempt at Open Sunday, I uncover the parts that worked and those that didn’t, list the changes I’ve made since then, and discuss the hopes I have for Hunger in the future. I conclude this master’s thesis, purposefully written to be more like a story than an academic paper, by recounting my journey with the psychosomatic disciplines of KATaP, therapy, and my creation of Hunger, and by describing how deeply it has affected me in my life as an actor and as a person. I hope this master’s thesis could prove useful for anyone struggling to tell their story, coping with their mental health, or simply curious about this particular authorial process.